Why Is My Husband not Getting Erect?

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The sex life of a family couple is as much important as any other aspect of their lives. When a husband cannot get erect, a wife often takes it too emotionally, thinking there’s something wrong in their relationship. It’s not rare that troubles in bed lead to the family splitting. But what if the problems with an erection have nothing to do with your husband’s attitude toward you? What if the problem is physical? Well, in such a case, you have all chances to resolve the issue and return intimacy to your married life.

Why a Man Cannot Get an Erection?

The primary reason your husband may have trouble getting an erection is erectile dysfunction (ED). According to the National Institute of Health, a man can be diagnosed with erectile dysfunction if he has one of the following symptoms:

  • inability to get an erection most of the times one attempts to;
  • inability to maintain an erection long enough for satisfactory sexual intercourse;
  • inability to get an erection at any time (complete impotence).

If your husband has any of these, talk to your doctor about the treatment options they may suggest.
In fact, the statistics say that by reaching the age of 40, about 40% of men have trouble getting and/or maintaining their erection firm. As men get older, their chances of developing weak erections grow. By the age of 70, 70% of American men will experience ED.

What Causes Erectile Dysfunction?

All the causes of erectile dysfunction may be divided into three groups:

  • psychological;
  • physiological;
  • lifestyle causes.

Psychological Causes of ED

The mental well-being of a man is as much important for his erection as his physical health. Psychologically induced ED is more common among men under 40 years old. It is considered that psychological factors are responsible for 20 – 25% of all ED cases.


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The characteristic feature of psychogenic ED is its abrupt start. The causes of this type of ED can be the following:

  • depression;
  • anxiety, including sexual performance anxiety;
  • fear related to sexual violence;
  • low self-esteem;
  • continuous stress or getting into a single severely stressful situation;
  • difficulties in interpersonal relations with a partner.

Physiological Causes of ED

In 80% of men with ED, their disorder is provoked by certain underlying medical conditions. Typically, the physical triggers of impotence are enhanced by psychological and lifestyle factors. Among the health conditions that may be responsible for ED issues, there are:

  • heart disease (by the way, ED might be the only symptom of your heart disease);
  • diabetes (75% of men with diabetes will develop erectile problems);
  • high blood pressure;
  • low sex drive due to hormonal imbalance;
  • prostate cancer;
  • benign prostatic hyperplasia;
  • backbone trauma;
  • penile trauma;
  • chronic kidney disease, and others.

How do these conditions affect potency? Some work by reducing the amount of blood flowing to the penis during sexual arousal. Because of this, the organ just can’t fill with a sufficient amount of blood to become firm. Others interfere with the potency due to nerve damage. In such cases, the body cannot send signals from the genitals to the brain and back to them to function as they should.

Among other causes of ED, there are the side effects of some medications. If you get treatment with anxiolytics, antidepressants, alpha-blockers, ACE inhibitors, and others, there is a chance that you’ll experience difficulties getting and sustaining an erection.

Lifestyle Causes of ED

By making the wrong lifestyle choices, men can speed up the appearance of their sexual health issues. While they rarely become the only reason for erection problems, lifestyle factors often add to the other causes of erectile dysfunction. So, what makes your husband more prone to developing a weak or unstable erection?

  • Smoking;
  • Excessive alcohol consumption;
  • Sedentary lifestyle;
  • Unhealthy food;
  • Excessive body mass;
  • Intake of illicit drugs.

How Can Men Treat Erectile Dysfunction?

The tactics for erectile dysfunction treatment depend on how severe the disease is. If it is in the early stage, lifestyle changes may be enough to improve the firmness and duration of an erection. Doctors usually recommend:

  • more physical activity, especially aerobic exercises;
  • Mediterranean diet;
  • giving up smoking;
  • reducing alcohol consumption.

However, if the disease has already passed the initial stage, these might not be enough to resolve the issue. In such a case, your healthcare provider may recommend taking medicines that belong to the group of PDE5 inhibitors.

The intake of such medicines increases blood flow to the penis by dilating the blood vessels and relaxing the cavernous bodies of the penis. This allows a sufficient supply of blood to the organ, promoting firm and lasting erections.

Please note that such medications have some contraindications and should therefore be taken by prescription only. Depending on the drug your doctor recommends, the effectiveness of treatment may range from 70% to more than 85%.

Why Is My Husband not Getting Erect? – Bottom Line

If your husband cannot get erect, you shouldn’t take it as a personal assault. Probably, his potency problems are provoked by his physical or mental health condition, not by his not being interested in you. Anyway, you should talk about this and find a solution together.